


Trying

by the_only_education_worth_having



Series: Requested Fics [28]
Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Crushes, F/M, Fighting, Insecurities, Rejection, Self Loathing, Violence, declaration of feelings, forced communication
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-25
Updated: 2018-10-02
Packaged: 2019-07-17 10:56:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,054
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16094246
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/the_only_education_worth_having/pseuds/the_only_education_worth_having
Summary: Steve and Y/N have a little misunderstanding





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Still working through requests. This was x2 inboxes so posted differently
> 
> Request, @encounterthepast : For pre-serum Steve could i request something where he rejects the reader because he doesn’t think he’s good enough and all his illnesses and it really hurts her but she hides how upset she is and Bucky gets really angry with him for it. and then fluff. As a follow up to the pre-serum steve request because i didn’t explain very well…. steve might genuinely think he’s doing the right thing but maybe the reader isn’t confident either and he hasn’t thought it might hurt them. Kinda how Steve can be so caught up in his own issues he’s a bit oblivious to others.

‘Hey Bucky,’ I said as the tall, handsome man entered the diner. As he moved to into the door he revealed his best friend behind him, Steve. My heart fluttered at the sight of the blonde. He looked at me and smiled as I said bashfully, ‘hi Steve.’  
‘Hey Y/N,’ the men said in unison as they took their favourite seats at the counter. We did this dance almost every day. They would come in and pretend to look at the menu before ordering the exact same thing that they did every time. I would stand and pretend as if I hadn’t already written the order down and placed it on the cook’s station. While I placed the order down I quickly checked my reflection in the coffee machine on the side before coming back to their area of the counter after I poured them coffee.

‘So Y/N how’s life treating you?’ Bucky asked sipping on his coffee.  
‘You mean since yesterday when you last asked me?’ I chuckled, ‘good. Works the same.’  
‘How’s the studying going?’ Steve asked with a smile, I returned it and he blushed. I caught Bucky’s eye as he did and he rolled them, making me giggle.  
‘Good,’ I said, ‘in the big prep for my final exams. Hopefully, they go okay.’  
‘Fingers crossed,’ Bucky said.  
‘Yeah,’ Steve said, ‘you’re totally going to ace it, you’re the smartest gal I know.’

I blushed and thanked him. I had been studying non-stop between shifts to pass my final exam to get my teaching certificate. I had been so lucky to get the opportunity to go to college and had even gotten a scholarship. My parents had been so happy for me but they had expected me to get married or get a job when I turned 18 and so I had to take a diner job to support myself while I studied. I didn’t mind, and it had actually turned out in my favour as this was the job that had led me to meet Steve. He and Bucky dined here almost every day and used to sit in the booth by the window. That was until I started working here. They had almost immediately changed to sitting at the counter and thought that I didn’t know. However, I feel it had more to do with Bucky than with Steve. Bucky hit on me for my first few shifts and though he was gorgeous and sweet something never really clicked with us and I found myself taking a shine to his reserved friend who almost never spoke in those first few weeks. He had gotten better since then and the three of us had become fast friends, though I longed for something more. Bucky, of course, knew how I felt. I hadn’t even told him but he figured that the only reason a girl wasn’t interested in him is that she was interested in someone else. He connected the dots pretty quickly from there. He told me to go for it. That Steve was shy and reserved and had never really been out with a girl before, unless his best friend set it up, and so needed me to make the first move. However, whatever reservations Steve had about dating it was probably safe to say that I shared them. I wanted to be with him so much but I was inexperienced and though I knew I was somewhat attractive I never saw a great guy like Steve going for a girl like me and so I never asked him, I just held out hope he would be braver than I was.

After the boys had eaten they bid me their goodbyes and left me a sizeable tip to add to my new apartment fund and I continued with my shift. It was none eventful from there but in a not so shocking turn of events, Angie asked me to cover the rest of her shift and be the one to lock up. It was quarter to eleven and the last few stragglers of customers were heading out whilst I was wiping down the tables and stacking the chairs. 

I was alone at last and I had just finished up with all of my jobs and so I started to switch off all the lights when there was a clatter of the front door. I quickly exited the kitchen and came to the back of the counter to see Steve rush in through the door and collapse into the first empty chair he could find. He was bloodied and his clothes were dishevelled, he’d been beaten up again. I rushed to his side as quickly as I could and knelt beside him. His eye was black, his lip busted and I wasn’t wholly convinced that his nose wasn’t broken. His clothes were matted with dried blood and there was mud on his knees and elbows.  
‘Oh Steve,’ I whispered as I reached up to touch his face, ‘what happened?’  
‘You should see the other guy,’ Steve chuckled though it turned into a cough and though he tried to hide it I noticed the small amount of blood that came up onto his sleeve, ‘it’s nothing.’  
‘Steven Rogers! You are beaten and bloody and you expect me to believe it’s nothing? Try again, pal.’  
‘I had a little run-in with a guy that was harassing this girl on the street. I told him not to and he thought that just because he’s an army guy he had the right to go with any girl he chose. I stood up to him and we fought, he and his friends-’  
‘-His friends?!’  
‘Like I said it’s nothing. They got bored eventually and I was walking home, I just needed a moment.’  
I sighed, typical Steve. He loved to play the hero. Whilst his morals were in all the right places he never thought about anything logically and to him taking on a guy and god knows how many of his friends on. I decided not to take it further and simply said, ‘Want some coffee….and an ice pack?’

‘Sure,’ Steve chuckled before wincing. I got him some coffee and an ice pack and cleaned him up as best as I could. We avoided talking about his fighting, I knew it was futile after all he was so pig-headed, so we talked about school again and Bucky enlisting. When he’d finished his coffee I locked up the rest of the diner and then took up his offer to walk me home. Though my house was less than four blocks away and Steve wasn’t the most stereotypical of manly men I felt unbelievably safe with his arm interlinked with mine walking down the darkened streets of Brooklyn.

Once we were at my door Steve bid me goodnight though he lingered for a moment, evidently unsure of how to proceed. It looked as if he wanted to go in for a hug but was too shy to do it so hearing Bucky’s words in my head I leaned in and hugged him loosely, careful not to squeeze him too tight on account of the bruising on his ribs.  
As we pulled away I looked at him and before I could stop myself I said, ‘beating aside. I enjoyed myself tonight, we should do it again sometime. You know just the two of us.’  
‘L-L-Like a date?’ Steve asked me wide-eyed.  
‘Yeah,’ I said with an expectant smile.  
‘No. I’m sorry, I just…’  
‘It’s okay,’ I said though my heart shattered into my pieces as I looked into his big blue eyes.  
‘I just. I don’t think of you like that,’ Steve said before he muttered a goodbye and moved swiftly down the street leaving me stood outside my house with tears in my eyes.

I tried to get Steve out of my head. I even swapped a few of my shifts so I was working closes instead of my usual breakfast shifts so I could avoid him. Little did I know Steve was trying his best to avoid me too. Bucky insisted that we should talk, on the odd occasion that I saw him when he dropped in after work, but I refused. It was over a week since I had seen him and I was starting to come to terms with the rejection. So what if Steve didn’t like me. He was cute and charming but he wasn’t the only man like that in Brooklyn. He probably didn’t like me because I wasn’t as pretty as all the girls Bucky set him up with or he thought, like a lot of guys, that I was too full of myself because I had chosen to get married rather than get married straight out of school. Whatever.

As my cloud of sadness lifted I decided not to do myself down and I accepted Bucky’s offer to go out dancing. As Bucky pulled up I ran out and climbed straight into his car not noticing the unwelcome visitor in the back seat. We drove for a good ten minutes before Bucky even attempted to break the ice sensing my displeasure.  
‘So Y/N, not gonna say hi, huh?’  
‘Really?’ I asked folding my arms across my chest, ‘you’re going to pretend that everything is normal. What’s he doing here?’  
‘I talked him into not being an idiot,’ Bucky said, ‘you’re going to talk and I’m going to sit here and try not to bash your two heads together for being such dumb asses.’  
‘Me?’ I asked agog, ‘what has this got to do with me? I don’t recall me being the one to just leave without explanation.’  
‘You’ve been avoiding each other. Yes, you Y/N,’ he said causing me to scowl, ‘look Steve’s not entirely in the right but I’ve heard his side of the story and I get it.’  
‘Of course, you side with him,’ I scoffed.  
‘Bucky didn’t side with me,’ Steve said in a small voice, ‘he actually called me out for being such an idiot.’  
‘Good.’  
‘C’mon doll, give the guy a chance. You know the only gal who’s ever liked him is his mama.’  
‘Thanks Buck,’ Steve said, his tone dripping with sarcasm.

The car pulled down a small side street which housed our favourite dance hall. Bucky parked and climbed out of the car though he left the keys in the ignition. Squatting so he could see into the vehicle he rested his arm on the roof as he said, ‘look I’m gonna go inside and see if I can catch myself a partner. How about you two fix whatever this petty squabble is about and then you can join us. Oh, and don’t even think about doing it in the backseat. I’ll know,’ and with a smirk, he disappeared from view as he walked towards the venue. Steve’s small frame moved past me as he clambered into the front seat. Neither of us spoke. I sat with my arms crossed against me as if it would help keep the hurt and anger from spilling out of me.

‘Nice dress,’ Steve said though I could tell he was put off by my icy aura, ‘look Y/N.’  
‘Look Steven. You don’t have to explain yourself to me. I understand. I asked you out thinking that you reciprocated feelings that I felt and you knocked me back. You don’t and are not obliged to feel anything but friendship towards me and I understand why you avoided me. If I’m not good enough for you to date that’s fine but instead of running away you should have done the decent thing and explain that you didn’t like me,’ I said in my most businesslike manner though I could feel a lump in my throat.  
‘I know I should’ve, wait, did you say you weren’t good enough for me?’ Steve asked looking at me bewildered.  
‘Obviously. There must be something I mean we get along so well. It must be that I’m not pretty enough or I won’t make a good wife or whatever. I know I’m not the prettiest of girls and I’m quite outspoken and a bit of a handful, that’s what my mom always says and-’  
‘You’re the prettiest girl I know.’  
‘What?’ I asked agape.  
‘Honestly, I mean I’ve been forced to double date with loads of girls but not one of them has ever been as pretty to me as you are. You’re gorgeous eyes and that dazzling smile, you’re the prettiest girl in New York City.’  
‘So, it’s because I don’t want to be some dumb housewife or something?’  
‘No! I love that you’re pursuing other things. I really admire that about you, I was never any good at school, I missed too much when I was ill.’  
‘So why the hell don’t you like me?’ I asked abruptly, though I realised my volume had unnerved him a bit and I softened my voice to say, ‘I mean, we get along so well…’  
Steve sighed.  
‘I didn’t reject you because you’re the problem.’  
‘What do you mean?’  
‘I’m hardly your average Joe am I? I’m short and skinny. I’ve got every ailment you could possibly imagine. I struggle with the simplest tasks because I’m so puny. I can’t hold down a job for love nor money and I know that no matter the amount of times Bucky shouts at me I’m never going to back down from a fight with someone who deserves to be taught a lesson. The reason that I never went steady with any of the girls Bucky introduced me two was partly because I wasn’t really attracted to them but the other part is they didn’t see me as a boyfriend. You know how many girls look at me when Bucky’s around? Zero. I said I didn’t want to be with you because deep down, you don’t like me. Not really. You’re just pitying me, you just don’t know it yet. One day someone like Buck will catch your eye and you’ll be courting him before you know it-’

Steve’s words were quashed as I melded my lips to him and brought him closer than ever. His lips were soft and tender and once he relaxed into it I found it to be the best kiss I had ever had. After a moment or two, we pulled away and Steve looked at me wide-eyed but before he could make any excuses I placed my finger on his lips and shushed him.

‘Look, we might never be happy with ourselves. But those things you don’t like about yourself I don’t see and if you’ll let me I want to spend some time trying to convince you around to the way I see you because that guy, he’s something else. He’s kind, thoughtful and super cute and I’m never going to get sick of him.’  
‘Y/N-’  
‘Just let us try. Please?’  
‘We can try.’


	2. Trying Blurb

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey can you do like a part 2 of “Trying” where it’s been 100 years and the reader has been turned to a super soldier by Hydra? Maybe her and Bucky are in the same mission during winter soldier to kill Steve? And she might be known as the ‘Ice Queen’ or whatever because her and Bucky are known for being the notorious duo. Thank you!!
> 
> This was a requested part 2. Didn't want to do a massive thing so it's sort of a lil blurb thing
> 
> о моя королева. - But my queen  
> освободить ег - Release him

The assassin cornered him and boy could he pack a punch, however, Steve wasn’t focused on that. Not at all. His bright blue eyes and the long brown locks were nothing short of seeing a ghost. Could it really be him? Surely, not. Bucky had died a long time ago, Steve had seen it with his own eyes, and waking up in another era had only solidified the fact in Steve’s mind that he would never see his best friend again. Yet, here he was. And it was all Steve could do not to stare as Bucky went into the attack. They fought, and Steve wasn’t ashamed to say that not much had changed from the old days, Bucky still could take him down faster than anything. He was backed into a corner, pinned under ‘The Winter Soldier’ trying to reach for his shield which was just out of the reach of his fingertips when he felt a boot stand on his wrist and watched as a dainty hand reached down and picked it up. Peeling his eyes off the shield he looked up and that was when he was really stunned. Stood there, clad in a skin-tight suit of armor, the sun beaming behind her was Y/N.

Now he was sure he was seeing things. Y/N was the girl he had dated before he joined the army before he became the Steve he was today., before Peggy. ‘освободить его,’ she said authoritatively looking Bucky dead in the eye before she observed Steve. Bucky looked at her curiously and murmured, ‘но моя королева.’  
‘освободить его,’ she said and Bucky did so even if it was reluctantly. Steve looked between them curiously as he got to his feet, grabbing his shield from her feet as he did.  
‘Y/N?’ Steve asked.  
‘Y/N is dead,’ she stated simply, ‘and now so are you.’

As she spoke she produced a large weapon from behind her back and aimed it at Steve, ‘Y/N please, you don’t want to do this. I know you,’ as he spoke a lump formed in his throat and he thought he saw a flicker of something come over her face though he wasn’t sure what it was. Love, hate, whatever it was he hoped it was enough to buy him some time. As her finger moved off the trigger, though only slightly, Steve took his chance and threw his shield. It hit her and the gun straight in the chest knocking them in either direction of each other. As she scrambled to get back at him Bucky made his move but Steve was too quick and was able to disarm him and knock him to the other edge of the bridge. It was hopeless.

Steve knew it and he was sure that they did too. It was a losing fight, all Steve could do was flee and regroup. As they ran towards him Steve took a leap of faith and landed in the water below. He swam as far as he could before he had to come up for air. He didn’t dare look back before he reached the shore and when he did neither Bucky nor Y/N were in sight but Steve couldn’t erase the picture of their faces from his mind.

He needed to find out what was going on.


End file.
